Well I guess one way to whip your ass into shape is to do it on national television with Steve Harvey Weight Loss Challenge, right??
I am honored to have the opportunity to be a part of the Steve Harvey 2016 fitness and weight loss challenge. I embrace these next 8 weeks with our trainer Lacey Stone and her #8WeeksToChange Program.
Below is my story and any support throughout this journey would be gratefully appreciated.
Most of my life I have been up and down with my weight but never really thin.
I would like to look and feel healthy with a healthy weight. I have an outgoing personality and I would love to have the body to match what I think I should look like with how I act.
My weight had recently gotten to the highest in the 200s when I was in my relationship with my ex. I believe the highest was 210. We were together for 7 years and I broke up with him in September and moved out of our home into my parents house for many reasons of needing a buffer zone/time.
My ex has always loved me and my body no matter what weight I was so I feel he almost allowed me to gain the weight. I was comfortable in our relationship and didn’t feel pushed to have to be skinnier.
Now that I’m single all I can think about is my weight. Dating online is solely based on looks and while I know I’m an attractive girl I would love to be the whole package with the great body as well.
One of my top top goals is to wear a bikini through the Steve Harvey Weight Loss Challenge. Even when I was skinnier in high school I still thought I was fat because all the other girls in hs were just tiny, it’s crazy to me now that I thought that way. I still would NEVER wear a bikini or show my arms. I own a boat and sometimes when I’m having a bad day with how I look I will not invite certain people as I don’t want them to see me in a bathing suit.
In my head I want to be “that” girl, I imagine this girl in my head and maybe one day I will be her. I’d love to make it a reality. If I could wear a bikini this summer that would be a huge WIN!!
I’ve also avoided going to the beach in Chicago for years. I know when I go there I would run into a bunch of people I know and would feel uncomfortable about seeing them.
I have a ton of discomfort issues with my body that has lead to me never go places when I should be out having fun I would stay home thinking I was to fat to be with a certain crowd.
Let’s talk about my arms, I NEVER show them. Going to the flywheel class and having a tank top on has been a huge step. My arms typically do not see the light of day as they have been a struggle point for me and have always just looked big! My mom had always been a judge of my weight and will let me know when my arms are getting a bit large. I don’t wear sleeveless anything in public. I own sooooo many cover ups. Even when it’s 105 degrees outside you would still see me wearing a shirt that would cover my arms. If that self conscious thought could go away it would make me a happy person.
When I was in my early 20s I had liposuction on my arms and stomach/thighs. I still have the incision scars. My parents were supportive of this as they knew how much I hated my arms and they thought it would help me mentally like myself a bite more. The issue is I don’t think it really worked out. I think it did make me smaller for a little while but nothing drastic and in the end it just all came back and now I have these scars.
Another big issues for me in my 20s was my reflection. I know this sounds odd and maybe I’m a mental case but when I was bigger I had a severe fear of my reflection. I would always think about it! I would have a hard time walking down the street as in the street Windows you can see your reflection walking by in the corner of your eye. I would not go sit near mirrors or any reflective surface. I would always position myself where I would not have to see my body and how unhappy I was with my body. We had a granite backsplash in our kitchen at one point and it would drive me nuts as I could see my reflection while being in the kitchen. It once got so bad that I didn’t really leave the house for 3 months. I was very depressed and thought my reflection was like running/ruining my life. My ex was there for me through all this and thinking back on it now I’m grateful he was around to help me and take me to therapy so I could get out of that dark cloud I was under.
In my professional life I feel like I’ve held myself back and bit with my discomfort about my body. I’ve turned down speaking engagements as I didn’t want to be on camera. I’ve turned down tv appearances as well for the same reason. My weight has for sure held me back professionally.
Overall, I feel like if I was to lose the weight my mental state will also improve as I wouldn’t have much more to worry about. I could go to all the events I want to go to and not feel self conscious. I could go shopping and handle seeing myself in the mirror in the dressing room.
I could be the girl that walking in with the tall heels many men look at me thinking….wow!
Wow! Well there to have my brutal honesty. Cheers to this journey with the Steve Harvey Weight Loss Challenge and hopefully my story will inspire you to join in on the program with Lacey!